


Hero

by lizibabes



Series: Hurt/Comfort Bingo [20]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: AU, M/M, Sex, Swearing, past physical/sexual abuse mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:25:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the Hunger/starvation prompt on H/C bingo. At seventeen Tommy Joe Ratliff has already lived a life time, the streets seem safer than his own home, but safer isn't safe. He plays his guitar for change until it is stolen and soon Tommy learns the difference between hunger and starvation. At eighteen Adam Lambert hasn't seen or done much, but he wants to help, but can Tommy trust that the offer of help is really no strings attached?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story and as far as I’m aware this never happened.  
> I've never lived on the streets, so I hope this is realistic and doesn't offend anyone who may have been homeless.  
> 　

Tommy POV  
　  
Life on the streets is anything but easy, he never thought it would be, but sometimes he's surprised by how hard it gets. When he left home a few months before, he'd had his guitar, an old second hand acoustic that has been his Dad's. Playing on street corners had made him enough money to get a little food, the occasional hot coffee. A week ago, someone had stolen it while he slept on a bench in the part. At first he'd been too distracted by losing the only connection he had to his dad, but he'd soon realised he had lost his only way of making money. Well there were other ways, but he wasn't dumb enough to run drugs and end up in jail when in less than a years time, he could get a real job without being sent back home or into care. He wouldn't sell himself either, he'd run away so he could have a choice about who touched his body, he wasn't going to change that now. He was so sure he could make it on stolen leftovers on tables outside places and the good food in the trash. But after a week, he was beginning to see that he had never known true hunger.  
　  
It's all he thinks about from the moment he wakes up till the moment he goes to sleep. It feels like something is eating away at his stomach causing painful cramps. He feels sick, weak and dizzy half the times. He could go to a shelter for a meal, but he doesn't look eighteen and he's terrified they will ship him off back home. People seem to think abusive parents are better than the streets, that at seventeen, he can't possibly know what's safer, but he does. He might feel faint and achy all the time right now, but at least no one's sneaking into his room while his Mom pretends to be asleep in the next room, acts like she didn't hear him crying, begging his step dad to stop. He knows he could get raped, living the way he is, but at least he won't have to sit at the breakfast table with him the morning after and play happy family. Pretending to be happy, pretending their family wasn't fucked up almost killed him.  
　  
He's walking around the streets where he used to play, because they’re pretty safe, the cops hardly ever told him to move, but there were enough of them around that there wasn't many dealers or hookers around. So there is less trouble, but more people giving him disapproving looks. At least the hookers don't give a dirty looking street kid in worn out clothes a second look, but their pimps do, so Tommy keeps away from them as much as he can. Just because he knows how to do that shit and is the kind of young and pretty that a lot of older guys seem to like, does not mean he'll do it. He's not that desperate yet, he hopes to a God he hasn't believed in since the first time his step-dad paid him a late night visit, that he'll find some food before he gets that desperate.  
　  
"Hey TJ!" He turns when he hears Isaac yelling out the nickname he's been using, it's easy to remember so he hasn't slipped up and not answered to it so far, but it's not something he went by before he ran away. His dad was the only one who ever called him TJ, before he left his Mom and she stopped him visiting when she got a new boyfriend. He knows his dad went to court, but his step dad Carl made his Mom lie and say his dad had a drinking problem, that he hit her and Tommy. He hasn't seen his dad since, heard his Mom mention he'd moved for work. It's not like he could have gone to him anyway, his dad would get in trouble for hiding a runaway, maybe he can track him down when he turns eighteen, if his dad still wants him. A high school drop out, who was used as some middle aged fuckwits sex toy.  
　  
"Isaac." Tommy nods and then he spots the black eye the other boy is sporting. Isaac is a street kid too, small like Tommy but with more muscle, he takes care of himself pretty well. He's not even a kid anymore really at nineteen, he's been on the streets for three years, kicked out his house for getting his girl Sophia pregnant. Her parents moved, Isaac doesn't even know if they let her have the baby. He thinks maybe her parents were too religious to force an abortion, but adoption is another matter. Tommy knows the not knowing kills Isaac sometimes. He keeps trying to save money, so he can travel to where Sophia lives, find her and maybe the baby. He never manages, food, water, shit needed just to live coming first. He's done some bad shit to get money and Tommy worries. Isaac might not be a pretty boy, but he's small, slim and he's seen pimps and John's looking. He hopes Isaac doesn't end up turning tricks, even though he's older, knows more about life, Tommy's pretty sure he knows nothing about that and how it would change him.  
　  
"Hey TJ, You okay man." Isaac knows he lost his guitar, knows he's looking at other ways to get money, food.  
　  
"I should ask you that, what happened to your eye?" Tommy asks, gesturing at his own, his bangs mostly hide his eyes; he needs to get a hold of some scissors soon, his hair is way too long all over. He steals dye even though he feels bad about stealing, uses it in public bathrooms, he figures his Mom and step-dad will have reported him missing, even if they aren't looking and the police won't recognise him as easy if he's blonde. He might have to steal food soon, but he's so fucking scared he'll get caught, he almost has a heart attack every time he shop lifts the hair dye.  
　  
"I got jumped, but it's okay. This guy, Adam, some like goody two shoes stepped in. He's like an art student, but fucking tall; they ran. All I got was the eye and I've had worse. You've not met Adam have you? He volunteers at some shelter, but he like brings food and medical shit out to places they know people sleep." Isaac shrugs and Tommy knows it's not all bluster, Isaac has had worse. Hell, Tommy's patched him up after he has; splinted an arm, pulled glass out of his back, cleaned up blood. Tommy's good with injuries, he's been sorting out his own for years.  
　  
"Wait, he brings food to places outside a shelter?" Tommy asks, if he doesn't go to the shelter they can't report him, maybe he could get a meal this way, he feels like he's going to pass out, knows he needs to do something.  
　  
"Yeah, we could try and find him if you want. You hungry?" Isaac asks.  
　  
Tommy nods, not wanting to admit he can't remember the last time he ate. Isaac's a good guy, the best he's met out here and he tends to worry about Tommy like a big brother would, not that Tommy would know, but that's what it feels like. He doesn't want to worry Isaac, it’s not like the guy doesn't have his own shit to deal with, he doesn't need Tommy's shit as well.  
　  
They go looking for this Adam guy, Isaac knows the places he normally turns up during the day and he's the second place they look. He has a girl with him, cute looking and his back’s to them. He's handing out sandwiches wrapped in Clingfilm and it reminds Tommy of the lunches his Mom used to make for him to take to school, back before Carl moved in and told her he was too grown up for that, should be doing it himself, Carl thought he should do everything himself.  
　  
Adam turns and Tommy feels a little nervous. Isaac was right, Adam's tall and broad, he's wearing a queen T-shirt and eyeliner, his hair freshly dyed black, he shouldn't be that intimidating, but Tommy feels like running anyway. He's good looking and young though, so he probably doesn't pay for sex, he won't want Tommy, not when he could do so much better.  
　  
"Isaac." Adam says brightly when he spots them, he leaves the girl passing out food, but brings some with him, handing them to Isaac who passes them to Tommy, like he doesn't need to eat as well. Tommy wants to tear straight into the food, he's never been this hungry, but he knows he might puke. So he'll go somewhere, eat slow, try and save some. It'll be his first meal in a week and he knows a sandwich won't do much. He does uncap the water Adam hands him, taking a small, slow sip. Getting water’s easier; public bathrooms, water fountains, but he's not passing up clean water. Sometimes drinking can trick his stomach into feeling a little less empty, but only if he drinks slowly. If he goes too fast it feels like its sloshing around inside of him.  
　  
"Hi Adam, this is TJ, TJ Adam." Isaac gestures as he talks and Tommy glances shyly at Adam. He really is hot and big, both of which scare him. He doesn't like it when he finds guys attractive, it seems wrong after what has happened to him and he's never sure if it’s real. If he likes guys or if he just responds because guys are what he's been with, well guy, but still, it’s enough to fuck with his head and having him not knowing what he wants.  
　  
"Hi TJ. Isaac, last time we talked, we talked about music right?" Adam asks, smiling at them both.  
　  
"Yeah." Isaac nods, he looks confused.  
　  
"Well my friend Monte, he runs a music store, he has a job going and I told him about you. It's like a live in thing, he used to live above the shop, but he got married and his wife's pregnant, so they moved. He doesn't like the place empty, there have been a few attempted break ins. He'd like to meet you, he likes people passionate about music." Adam explains. Isaac used to play drums. Music is what had got them talking, Isaac had heard him play, they had similar tastes, they'd bonded over it.  
　  
"He'd let some punk kid live in his shop? He’s not worried I'll rob him." Isaac asks, he's smart, Tommy knows that. Smart enough to ask questions when something sounds too good to be true, because if it sounds too good, it normally is.  
　  
"Monte was homeless himself. So he won't judge you on that. I mean you’re not a junkie, I know that. I wouldn't recommended you to him if I didn't trust you and he knows that as well. The pay won't be high seen as you get a place to stay included, but it's a start." Adam shrugs.  
　  
Tommy can see Isaac thinking, no more sleeping out in the cold, save up money so he can try and find his girl. Hell of a lot less chance of getting jumped, beat up, robbed or raped when you have somewhere to sleep at night where the doors lock. Tommy hopes it's not too good to be true, that Isaac is finally going to get a break after three years of shit.  
　  
"What sort of work? I don't even have a GED, man." Isaac sighs. Tommy knows once he's eighteen and they can't make him go home, he'll need to save up and take the test. Getting a job without one is a bitch, so it'll be an investment towards getting off the streets, if he can get the money together and if he can even pass it. He's missed months of school and he was never a straight A student, not dumb even though Carl said he was, but he had to really work at his grades to keep them up and it had got to a point where keeping good grades hadn't really mattered to him, so he'd stopped trying.  
　  
"It'll be working the till, talking to customers about instruments, nothing Monte can't teach you." Adam smiles.  
　  
"And Monte? He's not like some old perv is he?" Isaac asks, men have offered Tommy all sorts of jobs in the last months, they never say sex, but he's not stupid. Like some random business man really wants to pay a homeless kid to clean his apartment.  
　  
"No, Monte's just like a really cool guy, who loves his wife and loves music. I've known him for years, he's never done a bad thing to anybody." Adam looks a little shocked that Isaac asked, but he doesn't get mad, which makes Tommy's opinion of him go up. Normally he hates people who work in shelters, they all seem smug, holier than thou, they either want to feel good about themselves or they want to play hero and he hates it. He hates the ones who try and tell him God loves him the most, he wants to scream that if God loves him then why is he starving on the streets to avoid getting fucked by a man he's meant to call Dad. He never does though, he hasn't even told Isaac his full back story, let alone some stranger in a shelter.  
　  
"Ummm, I'll go meet him. See what we think of each other, get the details." Isaac nods.  
　  
　  
Adam looks pleased and promises to write down the shop address, his friend calls him over though so they have to wait.  
　  
"You should take the job, if he's not a creep. I mean if it's too shitty you can always quit." Tommy points out, he wants Isaac safe, he's been jumped three times in two weeks, it's not safe for him. Hell it's not safe for any of them, but Isaac's small, he doesn't run with a gang, he gets hurt a lot. Tommy wants better than that for his only friend. Isaac is the only person who has never hurt him, used him or let him down, he wouldn't resent Isaac for getting his life together.  
　  
"I want to, I want a life. But TJ, you'll be alone, no back up, no one to watch your back. These past months we've looked out for each other and I know you’re a tough kid, but there is only one of you. It'd kill me if you got hurt when I was gone, when I should have been there." Isaac sighs, loyalty means a lot to Isaac, Tommy knows that, loves it about him.  
　  
"Don't fuck up your chance over me. You can have a life, maybe even find Sophia. I'm not worth fucking that up for." Tommy shrugs.  
　  
"TJ, you’re fucking half starved. You won't steal food but you will steal hair dye and I'm the only person you talk to. You’re running from something and I get that it must be bad, I just don't want something happening to you." Isaac frowns, he looks like he's actually upset, he really gives a fuck about Tommy and he sort of feels like shit over that. He hasn't even trusted Isaac with his real name, when he knows all about Isaac, he's not hid a thing.  
　  
"People will think you’re fucking me you keep trying to protect me. I'll be fine by myself." Tommy mutters.  
　  
"Like I give a shit what people think! Do you think that's the only reason I could care about you, TJ, cos' I want your ass? " Isaac looks a little hurt now and Tommy doesn't want that. He wants Isaac to leave for his own good, but he doesn't want to destroy the goodness that Isaac's somehow kept his whole time on the streets.  
　  
"No, I think I might be gay, but I know you’re not. I just want you to be safe, Isaac. I'll get a job once I'm eighteen too, it'll work out." Tommy shrugs even though he knows getting even a shitty job as a street kid will be hard.  
　  
Adam comes back over with a piece of paper before Isaac can say anything else.  
　  
"How big is this place? The apartment?" Isaac asks.  
　  
"I'm not sure. Why?" Adam frowns a little.  
　  
"I want TJ to move in with me if I get the job. We won't cost anymore, I mean I'll be paying the bills." Isaac blurts.  
　  
"You can't pay for me, even if he says yes. I'm not your kept boy." Tommy hisses.  
　  
"I'm sure Monte would be okay with it, as long as you don't cause trouble and keep costs down. Pay for anything not covered by what is included with the job." Adam shrugs.  
　  
"Please." Isaac begs.  
　  
"Fine, but I'm paying for my own food and shit." Tommy really wants somewhere safe to sleep and he does like being around Isaac. He can talk music with him all day, relaxes a little around him. He trusts him, they have each other’s backs.  
　  
Adam smiles, encourages Isaac to go see Monte today and goes back to work. He looks happy, carefree, Tommy wonders what it's like to be like that. He can't ever remember being like that. They walk to Monte's shop, it's no that far from where they normally hang out, but Tommy's never seen it before. It's not ultra modern, more old school rocker, Tommy loves it instantly.  
　  
It turns out the shop isn't the only thing that's old school rocker. Monte is too. His idea of an interview is asking Isaac questions about bands while letting Tommy look through the records to put something on to play. He doesn't try and get either of them alone and he approves of Tommy's depeche mode choice.  
　  
　  
"The job’s your if you want it. And I don't mind you both being here, just no parties and no shit that'll get the cops called. You cause trouble and you’re both out." Monte says all gruff, but Tommy has a feeling that he's probably a nice guy. He's big, a little intimidating, but he has good taste in music and is offering them a roof over their heads that doesn't seem to come with a catch. Isaac and Tommy both don't need to be asked twice it seems, nodding to Monte.  
　  
He shows them upstairs but has to leave to see a customer. Tommy sits down on the sofa, it's old but it's more comfortable than what he's been sleeping on for month's let alone sitting on.  
　  
"You gonna eat?" Isaac asks, looking at the food Tommy's still carrying.  
　  
"I'm kind of afraid I won't be able to go slow, I'm so hungry and then I'll puke and it'll have been pointless." Tommy admits.  
　  
"When did you last eat? Maybe you should try half, I'll stop you from eating all of it." Isaac offers.  
　  
"It's been maybe a week, I've done it before." Tommy shrugs, unwrapping a sandwich, then he bites his lip.  
　  
"I thought you were getting enough food to eat a little pretty regular?" Isaac asks.  
　  
"Some weeks." Tommy sighs, taking a small bite of the sandwich. He hasn't always made enough money to eat and when he first ran, the money had all gone on bus tickets, getting as far away from his so called home as he could.  
　  
He eats slowly, managing half a sandwich before he starts to feel sick, so he stops. When Monte comes back, he notices the sandwich. Tommy sees him look at it, but he doesn't say anything, most people would think a half eaten sandwich was weird, but maybe Monte understands. They don't have stuff to move in just the back packs they both have on them, so they don't have to leave before moving in. Monte leaves them alone when they’re in the apartment and he doesn't work Isaac too hard, not like slave labour style. Tommy makes a bed up on the sofa, giving Isaac the bedroom without discussing it, he's not the one earning anything.  
　  
The next week he goes out during the day while Isaac works, trying to find a way to make money. The cops didn't move him on when he had his guitar, but they do when he's straight begging so he doesn't make fuck all no matter how many times he goes out. He refuses to eat food Isaac buys with his wages, he earned it Tommy didn't. Isaac should be looking after himself and saving up, not spending money on Tommy. It pisses Isaac off, but he drops it, arguing isn't really in either of their nature and it might be why they get on so well.  
　  
He's still hungry all the time, he's managed a few free meals, fries left in a container on a park bench, they'd been cold, but edible. He'd done some dumpster diving behind shops and restaurants as well, it was enough to live on, even if he was looking skinnier by the day.  
　  
He goes to sleep pretty early, which was weird, when he lived at home and on the streets, he was always a night owl. Isaac can't stay awake without caffeine past ten anyway so he doesn't mind that Tommy's sleeping habits have changed. He just feels so drained all the time. It's not till the second week of living above the shop that he can sleep on the sofa and not jump at every little noise. It’s in that second week, when he's sleeping easier that he has a dream.  
　  
Adam walks into the room and he's shirtless, normally a half naked guy would have his heart racing with fear and his heart is racing, but he isn't scared, he's turned on by Adam and Adam knows it. He crawls onto the sofa on top of Tommy, his hands sliding over Tommy's naked chest, telling him he's beautiful, gorgeous, that he wants him. They kiss and it makes Tommy hard, he lets Adam strip him naked, get a hand on his dick. They keep kissing the whole time and Tommy can't get enough of it, he hasn't really kissed much before, but it feels good, Adam feels good. The weight of a strong male body, heavy on top of him should freak him the fuck out, but Adam makes him feel safe. The kisses are gentle and he strokes Tommy's body like he thinks he might break, not like he wants to break him.  
　  
Adam jerks him off, his hand moving faster and faster between them. Which is when he wakes up, a little too late if the sticky feel of his boxers is anything to go by. He groans staring at the ceiling. A sex dream about Adam? Guess he really is gay. But him and Adam will never happen for a thousand reasons. Even if Adam wanted him for some reason, Tommy's not sure he wants sex, like at all, with anyone. He listens to his stomach growling and gets up. He needs to clean off and maybe a cold shower will un-fog his mind and distract from the gnawing hunger.  
　  
Clearly the world hates him because the next morning when he shuffles into the shop, tired from a lack of sleep, Adam is standing there talking to Monte. Tommy had almost forgotten that they were friends. Adam's around eighteen, so Tommy wonders why he's friends with such an older guy. He doesn't think they’re banging, Monte doesn't act at all like he's into fucking guys and the vibe between them is all wrong. Tommy avoids looking at either of them and heads over to Isaac. Looking at Adam makes him blush and he wants out of the shop fast. He just needs to tell Isaac he's going so that he won't worry.  
　  
　  
"Hey TJ, want to earn some money?" Monte yells, just as Tommy reaches Isaac, who stops dusting old records and looks over at Monte the same time Tommy does. He's heard the offer to earn money from men a lot of times, but he's sure Monte's not like that.  
　  
"Doing what?" Tommy asks, hoping like hell he isn't wrong about Monte and his offer. If he's after sex, Tommy won't stay. Doesn't matter if he's offering to pay, if he wants it and Tommy says no, he's got access and the strength to just take what he wants.  
　  
"Adam's painting the nursery for my wife. She can't be around the fumes and I, and this is a quote 'will make a fucking mess' Anyway, a bunch of stuff needs picking up and then the painting in self. Would be quicker if you'd help and I'll pay cash." Monte offers, and he is sold on the idea already, cash payment means not having to explain or even mention his age. He might want to avoid Adam, but avoiding him isn't worth losing out on cash, especially when Monte offers him more for a few days work than he's been making in a few weeks. He glances at Isaac before he says yes, waits for him to nod so he knows he's not the only one who thinks it's a good idea, two heads are better than one.  
　  
He follows Adam outside to his car, the dark haired boy explaining that they'll be driving to a hardware store first. Monte knows the owner there so he's getting the supplies cheap. Adam puts the radio on and is singing along by the time they've pulled away. He's surprisingly good, but Tommy doesn't say anything, he doesn't really do small talk, he's out of the habit. Hell the only person he ever really talks to is Isaac or Monte when he has to. It's not that he's antisocial, but he'd always been kind of shy and then he was on the streets where it was safer not to talk to people and it's become more of a habit not to talk than to fill any silences. Adam doesn't seem to mind though, cheerfully singing along to song after song.  
　  
In the shop, he keeps close enough to Adam so that no one thinks he's shop lifting, but he lets Adam deal with the list. He does help carry shit though, if he's getting paid he'll pull his weight, he just doesn't really want to talk. Sure Adam's a nice guy, what with the charity work, but Tommy doesn't really trust nice guys, people used to call Carl a nice guy all the time. He's learned that the true monsters, the nastiest people often look the most harmless, it's how they get away with shit. Adam's either getting something from helping people, using the street people he feeds somehow or he has a hero complex. Tommy doesn't have time for any wannabe saviours, especially if they want to try and save his soul.  
　  
Monte's house is nice, not huge or anything, but it's in a nice neighbourhood, the sort of place where people still let their kids play in the front yard alone, it's the kind of place Tommy grew up so he knows that the nice yards and pretty houses don't mean shit. A cute little flower bed, well kept lawn and people thought it had to be a nice home, with a nice family, bullshit. Tommy carries what Adam asks, he has a key and from the key rings on it, Tommy thinks maybe they’re Adam's, like Monte didn't lend him a key just for this, like he already had one and it makes Tommy feel tense. Adults don't just give teenagers a key to their house. Monte's wife is out, but Adam knows where everything is, they take the paint to the soon to be nursery and then he grabs some sodas from the fridge, they have a post it note on them with a reminder to eat, drink, and take breaks which makes Tommy raise his eyebrows.  
　  
"I get sort of into stuff, forget the time. Hours fly by and I realise I haven't eaten or drank anything or that I've been painting or writing for hours." Adam shrugs. Tommy still finds it a little weird, he can't remember the last time someone reminded him to eat. Isaac doesn't even do that, he knows Tommy eats when he can.  
　  
They lay out sheets and open all the windows and then they start painting, working with brushes on all the edges first. It's not bad work, Adam hums and sings a lot, but he's in tune and he doesn't interrogate Tommy, which is good, he hates answering questions about himself.  
　  
"So I help out at this clothes shop sometimes, they sell rocker, punk and goth stuff. It's pretty good. They’re looking for someone to help stock shelves, maybe work the till a little. You interested?" Adam asks, his voice thankfully covering over the embarrassingly loud noise Tommy's stomach makes.  
　  
"Maybe." Tommy admits, he knows he needs more money, he can see every single one of his ribs. Isaac had patted his back and freaked when he could feel the bumps of his spine. He knows he's too skinny, hungry all the time, still starving away to nothing even with a place to stay.  
　  
　  
"The pay’s fair and you get a store discount." Adam smiles, all warm encouragement. And what the fuck? Was the guy a puppy or something in a past life, he's way too nice.  
　  
"Not really why it was a maybe. Will they care if, in theory, I'm not quiet eighteen yet." Not quite meaning ten months away from being eighteen.  
　  
"In theory, how old are you?" Adam asks, looking at him carefully, but seemingly without judgement.  
　  
"Seventeen." Tommy sighs.  
　  
　  
"Well that's not like really young and it's not a full time job so I don't see it being a problem. I can mention the age thing before I mention you if you like?" Adam asks.  
　  
"Yeah, please." He could really use a fucking job.  
　  
They work on and Adam keeps on singing. It's lateish in the afternoon when Tommy hears the front door open and Adam jumps up excitedly, cleaning his hands off on a dust sheet.  
　  
"Lisa's home, come meet her." Adam smiles, all but bouncing.  
　  
Tommy trails behind him, he hates meeting strangers, but he can't really say no. Not to Adam who might get him a job, about the women who's house he's working in right now. Lisa is pretty, she looks warm and kind and very pregnant, she's the sort of nice women who would hold her bag a little tighter if she had to pass by Tommy on a street and even though he's never stolen from a person in his life, he doesn't blame her.  
　  
"Adam." Lisa says brightly, hugging Adam close. She reminds Tommy of what a Mom's meant to be like even though she doesn't have a kid yet.  
　  
"Lisa this is TJ." Adam says brightly, he's taken up place at Lisa's side, one big hand on her belly and Tommy can see his smile twitch every now and then and he thinks maybe the baby is kicking. He's never really been around pregnant women, all his Mom's friends already had kids and most the homeless girls and hookers get abortions or into homes when they’re pregnant, not that he'd have been feeling their babies kick even if they didn't.  
　  
Tommy waves awkwardly as Lisa smiles at him, as happy as Adam seems to be, he really doesn't know what is with these people.  
　  
"Hi TJ, thanks for helping out." Lisa smiles, which again is just weird, they’re paying him, he doesn't need a thank you. He's saved from saying anything back when the phone rings and Lisa goes to answer it. When she first answers her smile brightens.  
　  
"Hi, Monte." She's clearly pleased to hear from her husband but her face quickly falls. She holds the phone away from her ear but doesn't hang up.  
　  
"TJ, could you come talk to Isaac for a sec?" She asks, the hand not holding the phone rubbing at her swollen belly.  
　  
Hesitantly he walks over, feeling sick all ready. He takes the phone from Lisa and puts it to his ear.  
　  
"Isaac?" he hopes he's not in trouble, that he's not made Monte mad or something, they'll be fucked.  
　  
"Hey, TJ. Some assholes threw bricks through the shop window. I got cut up a little so Monte has brought me to the free clinic. I'll be ages, but I'll be fine, stitches maybe. The cops are investigating and the place is a mess. So Monte said we could stay at his just for the night. I'll be there tonight if you’re cool with it." Isaac explains and Tommy can hear the slight catch in his voice, knows he's hurting. He needs to rest some place safe and Tommy can't risk being around the cops any way.  
　  
"Yeah, sure. Just take care of yourself, okay?" he doesn't like the idea of being with strangers, but at least for now he doesn't think Lisa will be an issue. She won't hurt him at least, if she figures out his age she might call child services thinking it was the right thing to do, there's a lot of that type about. Adam's a mystery, his size scares Tommy, he seems to like men, but he hasn't been out of line at all. So he doesn't need to worry, weird sex dreams about the guy aside, he'll be okay.  
　  
"Cool, I'll be there as soon as I can. Hand Lisa the phone back. Monte wants to talk to her." Isaac tells him calmly and Tommy does as he's told.  
　  
Lisa talks to Monte for a little while and then she insist they all sit down in the kitchen and drink tea, for the shock. Tommy's not sure what's meant to be shocking, but he doesn't want to start a fight so he goes along with it. He knows you follow peoples rules when you’re in their house and he's good at following rules, he used to live with more of them than he could ever hope to remember and breaking a rule lead to a beating, so he learned them best he could.  
　  
Adam and Lisa are chatting away when suddenly their attention turns to him and Tommy realises he needs to focus. He hasn't heard a single word either of them has been saying.  
　  
"Um sorry, I missed that?" He hopes it won't piss them off.  
　  
"I was just asking about Isaac. I've not met him, poor boy. Monte says he'll need stitches. He seemed calm when I spoke to him for a second on the phone. So do you, I would be shaken up if I was around all that." Lisa sighs.  
　  
"I wasn't there and I know Isaac's okay. I've been with him to the clinic before." Tommy shrugs. A few broken windows are nothing, he's seen and been a part of worse. He doesn't like that Isaac got hurt, but he knows it could have been worse, that it has been worse. Isaac will be alright.  
　  
"When I broke up that fight, Isaac did say it wasn't his first." Adam comments.  
　  
"It wasn't a fight, he got jumped, but yeah, not the first time it happened." Tommy shrugs, Isaac doesn't start fights, he doesn't get involved in that shit, he never even mouths off, he just about stands up for himself.  
　  
"He was attacked by someone?" Lisa asks.  
　  
" Four guys." Tommy shrugs.  
　  
"They were older as well. I didn't even get why they were doing it." Adam frowns.  
　  
"For fun usually." Tommy sighs.  
　  
"What? How is beating up a young man fun?" Lisa asks.  
　  
"I don't know, I don't do it. They just seem to enjoy it. It's not like we have money to take most the time." Tommy really fucking hates talking, two people shouldn't feel like a crowd, but it does and he hates that.  
　  
"You said we, have you been attacked as well?" Lisa asked.  
　  
"A few times, people don't normally break it up like you did for Isaac. So thanks." Tommy glances at Adam, it was pretty brave really, he took on four grown men, violent thugs when he's some kind of art student, he has painted nails for Christ sake, Tommy has no idea how he got four men to back off.  
　  
"No problem, I wasn't about to walk away from four huge guys trying to beat the crap out of one small guy." Adam acts like it's not a big deal, but Tommy's seen people turn a blind eye to plenty, they don't even call the cops, let alone step in themselves.  
　  
"People do." Tommy shrugs, just wanting to drop it and move on. He wants Lisa and Adam to go back to talking without him. Pretending to listen had been fine, he hates having to take part like this.  
　  
"TJ, have you been beat up and people not stopped it?" Adam asks him, bright blue eyes boring straight through him. Tommy feels like any lie he tells, Adam will see right through it.  
　  
"It's not a big deal, when you live on the streets it happens all the time. I've got hurt, people have seen and walked the other way, but it's just the way it is and it could be worse." Like a mother ignoring the fact her husband is raping her son, but he doesn't share that, no one ever needs to know that.  
　  
Lisa and Adam both look appalled, he really doesn't get it. If Monte was on the streets, even for a little while he must have told them what it was like.  
　  
"That's awful, TJ, I'm so glad you’re living above the shop now." Lisa sighs.  
　  
"When I met Monte, he was homeless, but he was the one who stopped me getting hurt. I was in middle school and some college guys, one of them had a brother at my school, so they knew about me and tried to gay bash me. Monte stopped it before I got hurt badly." Adam frowns and Tommy can see what happened still bothers him, hurts him.  
　  
"Monte was lucky in a way, he was a grown man when his company fired him and he lost the house. He could defend himself and he got back on his feet quickly. Isaac's nineteen right? You boys are a lot younger than he was, I can't imagine how hard it was and still is." He likes that Lisa doesn't come off like she pities them, it's just like she wishes things could be different. Which is cool, Tommy wishes the same thing, every night when he goes to bed still hungry, trying to remember the last time he was completely full, sated and not being able to.  
　  
Tommy tries to keep out of things after that, giving short but polite answers whenever Lisa or Adam asks him something. They don't badger him and Tommy thinks maybe they don't because they think he's quiet because he's worried about Isaac. He is worried, but that's not why he's quiet, he's always quiet. It's a habit that started before he ran away, Carl didn't like it when he talked too much, so he stopped talking unless he was spoken to. It didn't really help, Carl found other things to get mad over, but at least he didn't have to talk to the bastard.  
　  
It's a relief when Monte gets back, Isaac not even two steps behind him and the first thing Isaac does is come straight over to him and Tommy knows the older boy is checking to see if he's okay. Tommy nods trying to be subtle, to let Isaac know it's been cool. Then he gets his friend to point out the war wounds. He got cut along his left thigh, his chest grazed a little and a deeper cut on his shoulder. He's stitched in a few places and bandaged up, but he's whole, no long lasting damage and living in an actual apartment, with running water, he probably won't even get an infection this time.  
　  
Monte tells Lisa not to cook, he's ordering pizza for everyone, he won't let Tommy, Isaac or Adam argue. Tommy's not sure how he's going to manage, he's not had a big meal in a while. He'll have to pace himself or risk being sick. But he knows it'll smell so good and he's so hungry. He ends up having a problem before the food even gets there, they are all moving into the family room, Tommy stands up and feels the whole room spin and before he even realises what is happening, he's falling. He slams into Adam knocking him over as well, he lands half on top of the other man and weakly rolls off of his as quickly as he can. He can't be close to someone like that, fuck what his dreams want.  
　  
"Are you okay?" Adam asks, getting up onto his knees easily, so at least he's not hurt which is something. He's made a fool of himself though, drawn attention to himself and he hates it.  
　  
"What happened?" Monte asks, at the same time Isaac is kneeling down by him like Adam. Tommy feels too dizzy and weak to move, like he might pass out, throw up or both if he tries.  
　  
"I just got dizzy." Tommy mutters, he hopes they don't think he's on drugs, he's never used, he doesn't even drink; too expensive for one and the smell of booze reminds him of Carl's evening whisky. He didn't drink a lot but the smell of whisky always lingered on his breath. When he did get drunk, he was one mean ass drunk as well. Drugs don't appeal and not just because of the cost, he hates the idea of the lack of control over yourself that can come along with that shit.  
　  
"Have you eaten today, TJ?" Isaac asks quietly, but Tommy can tell Adam heard it, he's still close after all, worry painted all over his face, like Tommy's worth some nice guy worrying.  
　  
"No." Tommy admits, he tries to sit up and startles at Adam's big hand on his back steadying him, helping him. Between Adam and Isaac, they get him to his feet.  
　  
　  
"Help him to the other room, he can lay down on the sofa." Monte suggests and Tommy doesn't get much say in it. Isaac on one side Adam on the other, all but carrying him to the other room. He ends up laid out on a two seat couch, his head propped up with pillows.  
　  
"You’re really, really thin and you weigh like nothing." Adam looks a little pale. Tommy knows his baggy clothes hide a lot, the way his stomach dips in and his ribs and hips jut out, he didn't want Adam to see, Isaac knowing is bad enough.  
　  
"You gotta let me pay the food bill for both of us, just for a while, I'll know you'll pay me back." Isaac insist, he picks up Tommy's feet and sits under them, putting them in his lap. Tommy likes having him close when he's laid out in a strangers house, Isaac's his brother as far as he's concerned and he makes Tommy feel a little safer, even though neither of them could do shit against Adam or Monte. Hell, Tommy probably couldn't even defend himself against Lisa, as weak with hunger as he is right now, not that he’d fight a women, let alone a pregnant one.  
　  
"What's going on?" Monte asked.  
　  
"It's not Isaac's job to take care of me. He's done more than enough for me already. I'm not taking his money." Tommy shrugs, even though he knows that Isaac wouldn't ask for anything he couldn't give in return, doesn't mean he'll take from him.  
　  
"He used to make money by playing his guitar, people gave him enough money to get by, because he's real good, but someone stole it." Isaac adds.  
　  
"I didn't know you were a musician." Adam smiles.  
　  
"Adam sings in a few bars, the ones that don't mind that he's nineteen, not twenty one." Monte explains and it seems he was a year off when he guessed Adam's age.  
　  
"If Isaac wants to pay for food maybe you should let him, pay him back when you can, couples help each other like that." Lisa says softly, her eyes bright with worry and Tommy's jaw drops.  
　  
"Eww, we are not a couple." Tommy screws his face up at the thought.  
　  
"There's nothing wrong with being gay." Adam says looking hurt, he's sat on the floor facing them.  
　  
"That's not why it's gross. Isaac's like my big brother and he's straight." Tommy shakes his head.  
　  
"But you’re not straight? Or am I reading into the fact you only called him straight?" Adam asks.  
　  
"I'm not straight, I'm not really much of anything though. I haven't dated since I ran." Or at all, but then he doesn't need to share that or the fact that he's very much not a virgin despite never having been on a date.  
　  
"You never said anything." Isaac comments.  
　  
"Is it a problem?" He's fucked if it is.  
　  
"No, man, I guessed anyway. When I talked about my girl you didn't ask any standard guy questions. So I had a feeling. I wasn't sure, I mean you don't check out girls, but you don't check out guys either. That's not the point though. You need to eat more before you end up in a hospital." Isaac squeezes his foot gently and Tommy knows they really are cool, Isaac isn't just being polite in front of Adam who is very much out and could kick their asses if he wanted to.  
　  
"He's right, TJ. Not to mention you pass out some place public anything could happen to you." Lisa sounds scared, like she actually cares about him being in danger, it's weird.  
　  
"And we know you’re a run away. A hospital will call child services and you'll end up in care or back home. I figure you must have had a reason to run, you don't want to risk going back." Monte sighs.  
　  
Tommy feels himself go pale as the blood drains from his face. They would send him straight back to his Mom and Carl, they have steady jobs, a nice house, they’re good people in everyone’s eyes. They'll say he was acting out, no one will believe he had reason to run. Fuck, Carl would make sure he paid for running and probably stop him from ever doing it again, no matter how old he got his step-dad never seemed to like him any less, at least when it came to that, outside of sex, he knows Carl hates him.  
　  
"I'd rather die than go back." Tommy whispers and regrets it instantly when he sees everyone’s horrified faces.  
　  
"Then let me help you. Let me buy us both food." Isaac says firmly.  
　  
"And once you’re healthier, I'll help you get that job, I promise." Adam smiles encouragingly, hero complex or not he can't help liking Adam, he's a nice guy even if he is always trying to save everybody.  
　  
Monte has to go to the door seconds later, the pizza arriving and Isaac helps him sit up. He manages to eat a little bit before his shrunken stomach starts to rebel so he stops eating. He leans against Isaac, falling in and out of sleep, he's so damn tired he can't help it. He does something he can never remember doing before and falls asleep in a room full of talking people. He has another dream, but this time it's not about Adam. He wakes up to someone shaking him and blinks open heavy eyes. Isaac is shaking him and everyone else is standing up watching him. He frowns at the cool wet feeling on his cheeks, lifts his hand to his face and realises he's been crying in his sleep. What the fuck? The idea of ending up in a hospital and being sent home fucks with his head that much, bad enough to have him dreaming dreams that have him crying in his sleep.  
　  
"Who the fuck is Carl?" Isaac asks, his voice is icy cold and it scares the shit out of Tommy. Isaac was never meant to hear that name.  
　  
"No one." Tommy lies.  
　  
"TJ, you’re like my little brother, I care about you. Don't lie to me when I just heard you begging him to stop. Was it someone on the streets when you ran? I've seen how you avoid the pimps, did one of them hurt you?" Isaac asks, it seems Isaac sees a lot of the shit that Tommy had been so sure he hid well.  
　  
"He's not a pimp." Tommy groans.  
　  
"But not a nobody? Carl the reason you ran, son?" Monte asks and Tommy can't help flinching at being called son and of course Monte picks up on it.  
　  
"Carl your father, TJ?" Monte presses.  
　  
"Step-dad." Tommy admits.  
　  
"He kick you out like my folks or did you run?" Isaac asks.  
　  
"I ran." Tommy's pretty sure Isaac knew he ran, but maybe he just wants to be sure if they’re gonna talk about this shit. Tommy really doesn't want to talk about it.  
　  
"Did he hurt you?" Adam looks pale, but also kind of pissed, like he'd be right beside Isaac beating the shit out of Carl if he could. Adam hardly knows him, he must really like helping people to get that angry over this.  
　  
"Yes." Tommy nods, praying they'll stop asking questions before he says something he really doesn't want them to know.  
　  
"How long for?" Monte asks.  
　  
"He moved in when I was ten and it started almost right away. So it was like seven years." Tommy shivers, hating the memories filling his head. Isaac throws an arm around his shoulders.  
　  
"Oh my God, did your mother know?" Lisa asks, both hands resting on her round stomach, Tommy wants to tell her no, that a mother wouldn't do that to a child and upset her a little less, but he won't lie, so he just nods tightly instead and drops his eyes, staring at his hands, he doesn't want to see the look on Lisa's face.  
　  
"I'm so sorry, TJ." Lisa says softly.  
　  
"Not your fault she loved him more than me." Tommy shrugs. His Mom had met Carl maybe a week after his dad moved out, moved him in under a month, it was like she couldn't function right without a husband. She needed a man to work, to bring home the money while she played perfect wife and mother. His dad leaving had shattered the illusion she'd been painting, Carl was apparently her way of saving face. Even though his quick appearance on the scene had everyone Tommy knew implying his Mom had been having an affair with Carl and that's why his dad left. Tommy knows it's not true, he heard the fights, his dad just hadn't loved his Mom anymore.  
　  
"That's fucked up, I think I hate your parent's more than mine." Isaac frowns.  
　  
"Did you go to the hospital when he beat you? They can't make you go back if there is a record of abuse." Adam looks so worried for him.  
　  
"Carl never let me." Tommy had dealt with his own injuries, a full stocked first aid kit and pain killers were always kept in his bathroom cabinet. He was so thankful he had his own bathroom, somewhere to clean up, try and cover up the marks Carl left all over him.  
　  
"Never? He could have lied about how you got hurt, did you need a doctor?" Monte asks.  
　  
"Yeah, but my injuries were kind of obviously not accidental." Tommy sighs, broken bones, bruises in the shape of hands and fingers, anal bleeding, they weren't things Carl could explain away, trips, falls, walking into the door would only explain some of them.  
　  
"Did you try to report him? At school or to the police?" Lisa asks.  
　  
"So Carl and my Mom could lie and say I was talking bullshit? No thanks, I didn't need them all calling me a liar. People figured I was gay, I liked metal. I was a freak to them, they wouldn't believe me." He can still imagine them laughing in his face, asking if he liked putting out for his step-dad or some shit like that, he'd been humiliated enough as it was, just living with it.  
　  
"What made you snap and leave?" Adam asks.  
　  
Tommy feels his stomach roll, images flickering into life from the dark places in his mind, the places where the memories of Carl and the last seven years live.  
　  
"I don't want to talk about this anymore." He mutters, drawing his legs up, he just wants to disappear, wants it to go away. But he can see Carl perfectly in his mind now, standing in his door way, smiling like they’re friends or some shit.  
　  
"TJ." Isaac says softly, he sounds scared.  
　  
Tommy shakes his head trying to forget Carl coming into his room, the casual way in which he tore him apart, like he was nothing, like his pain meant nothing. He tries to forget the smell of blood and sex in the air. He'd been so hurt that time that he'd passed out in the bathroom. When he woke up, his Mom had made his bed, changed the bloody bottom sheet. She didn't ask about the blood when he dragged himself down to breakfast. Carl had told him to be good, had winked when he said he'd see them tonight. Tommy had gone to school and then come home when he knew his Mom would be out doing groceries. He packed a bag of clothes, took money he'd hid from odd jobs, his dad’s guitar from the closet where Carl said it had to stay. Then he ran, he hadn't looked back or thought about going back since. He didn't regret leaving, even though he was a more than half starved skeleton it was better than that, hell dying was better than that hell in his opinion.  
　  
"TJ, you don't have to talk unless you want to. But you look like you’re being eaten alive by whatever you’re not saying. Talking might help." Monte suggests.  
　  
He's never told anyone, Carl knew because he did it, his Mom knew because she heard and covered over any evidence she could, like bloody sheets and clothes. But he's never told anyone. He's not sure a guy he had a sex dream about, his surrogate older brother, his brother’s boss and wife are the right people, but he doesn't know who the right people are.  
　  
"Carl, he didn't just beat me up. He used to do other stuff." Tommy says, feeling like he's going to throw up, his heart racing so fast he thinks it might burst out his chest.  
　  
Isaac's arm tightens a little around him and Adam comes to sit on the floor by him, taking his hand carefully in his, Adam's a big guy, but gentle.  
　  
"He raped me, for years and I know my Mom knew, but she didn't do anything to help me." Tommy blurts out, best to get it out, to get it over with if he's telling them, no point dragging it out.  
　  
He hears the gasps, the sharply in drawn breaths, the muttered curse words, but he sees nothing, eyes squeezed shut so he won't have to see their faces. Isaac pulls him in for a hug.  
　  
"A woman like that shouldn't be a mother. I'm sorry, TJ, I shouldn't say that, but it's what I think." Lisa voice wobbles like she might start crying.  
　  
"It's okay, it’s true, she isn't a real Mom." Tommy sighs into Isaac's chest, still gripping Adam's hand tightly even though the angle’s weird now.

He can hear Monte and Lisa talking, but he tunes them out. He huddles into Isaac and holds onto Adam like a lifeline. When he finally sits up, he notices they've both been crying, but he doesn't point it out, he hates when people do that.  
　  
"We should all get some sleep. Adam do you want to stay as well?" Monte asks, he looks tired and older than Tommy has ever seen him look.  
　  
"Yeah, I'd like to stay." Adam nods.  
　  
"I have sleeping bags, you boys okay all camping out in here together?" Lisa asks and when they all nod, she leaves the room.  
　  
Soon three sleeping bags and lots of pillows and extra blankets are spread on the floor, glance of water and anything else Lisa thinks they might need, she's gonna be an awesome Mom, Tommy's sure even though he doesn't know shit about good mothers. He thinks being able to love others so freely would help and Lisa definitely does that.  
　  
Monte lends them all T-shirts and cotton pants to sleep in, that look stupid even on Adam and he's ridiculously tall. He says good night, tells them to get him if they need anything and takes Lisa to bed, one hand resting on her back, the other, her bump as they walk.  
　  
"Sorry for landing all this shit on everyone." Tommy sighs into the dark.  
　  
"Don't you dare fucking apologize for what was done to you. It wasn't your fault." Isaac says firmly.  
　  
"He's right, don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong. I'm glad you told us." Adam yawns and they all go quiet for a while.  
　  
"How long did you think we were a couple for?" Isaac asks out of the blue.  
　  
"Ever since you wanted to move him in with you. I was worried, I totally checked him out in front of you. I thought you'd be pissed." Adam sighs.  
　  
"You checked me out?" Tommy had not noticed that.  
　  
"Sorry, that probably made you uncomfortable. I'm a little too honest sometimes." Adam groans.  
　  
"No, it's okay. I mean you’re hot so I'm like, flattered." Tommy's glad it’s dark, because it hides the blush rapidly staining his cheeks scarlet. Fuck, apparently the honesty thing is catching.  
　  
"Okay, no flirting in front of the big brother." Isaac huffs.  
　  
"I was not flirting. Was I? I've kind of never flirted before." Tommy groans.  
　  
"You called him hot, that's flirting." Isaac insists.  
　  
　  
"You said not to flirt in front of you, does that me we can do it when you’re not around?" Adam asks  
　  
Somehow with a lot of blushing, Isaac putting his fingers in his ears and general embarrassment, by the time they go to sleep, Tommy has agreed to go on a date with Adam. He's both terrified and excited. Carl doesn't get to ruin this though, he ruined his life, Tommy won't let him have this as well.  
　  
Monte gets the shop fixed quickly and Tommy and Isaac go back. But Lisa insist they come over for dinner every weekend and her cooking(She always sends them home with food) mixed in with letting Isaac pay for some stuff helps him finally know what it's like not to be hungry, for the first time in months. Adam takes him on his first ever date, he's smart, funny and kisses Tommy goodnight, not pushing for more. They don't go on their second date till Tommy gets his job at the clothes shop and his first pay check, he wants to pay for the second date. It goes as well as the first and the goodnight kiss is longer.  
　  
Isaac gives him a sex talk after the fifth date, only he doesn't seem to know much about the physical side of men being together and he spends the whole talk blushing. Adam admits half way through the movie that Monte gave him the talk as well when he came into the shop to pick Tommy up. Monte seemed better informed and Adam admitted he was the one blushing through the talk. They laugh about not needing the talks, they’re taking it slow anyway.  
　  
After their thirteenth date, Tommy pulls Adam into the backseat if his own car and their goodnight kiss becomes kisses and a little grinding. Tommy has to have a very cold shower when he goes inside. Isaac laughs at him, but smiles when he sees Tommy in a towel, no longer all skin and bones, not half starved anymore. He thinks about sex a lot that night, not in a 'I want to jerk off way' but about what he wants. He'd thought he'd never want to be with a man again, but he's had a crush on Adam from the start and has been falling for him since the first date. He's attracted as hell and Adam already knows his ugly past and hasn't run.  
　  
He decides to tell Adam while they’re at dinner. A waiter has to rush and get him some water when he chokes.  
　  
"You want to sleep with me? You’re ready, TJ?" Adam asks once the smirking waiter has left.  
　  
"My name’s Tommy, I want you to call me Tommy tonight." He wants to hear his name, not a nickname from Adam once they get alone in a bed together.  
　  
"Fuck, Tommy. I'm full, you still hungry, wanna go?" Adam babbles.  
　  
"I'm not hungry anymore." Tommy smiles and for once, it's the truth.  
　  
They pay the bill and rush to Adam's car. Adam pressing him up against the side to steal a kiss.  
　  
"Mmmm, Tommy." He moans lightly against his lops.  
　  
　  
Telling Adam his name? Best choice ever. They fumble their way into the car and drive off. Adam taking his hand and leaving one on the will. He's given Adam the green light, but if he said stop now or even later, naked with his dick in Adam's hand, he would still stop. It's one of the reasons why he can trust him enough to do this. He thinks he might love Adam, he thinks that maybe they can have something together. It's the first time in a long time Tommy's let himself want things, have things, think about a future. Things will change when he turns eighteen, but one thing will be the same, Adam will always be there to rescues him if he needs it, to play the hero. It’s a part he plays well, he's good at saving people, he saves Tommy from himself every day.  
　  
The End.


End file.
